What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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nipple

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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