How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have suicidal thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops