What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's brown and sticky A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

all jokes aside...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops