What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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bologna

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops