- Anti Joke

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

Keanu Reaves

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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