You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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My Boyfriend

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Sex

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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