What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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69

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A person from Singapore eats

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whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops