Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops