Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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i like men but im not gay

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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