My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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This statement is false.

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops