What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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