what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops