What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You mothers so ghetto, you died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops