What did Delaware? A coat.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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White men's rights

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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sdfrgtyuki

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops