Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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Brain fart

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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