Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Where's my tractor?

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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