Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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jwe

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KONY 2012

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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