What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

kcuf read it backwards

ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

The NBA and womens sports

why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

This is Heading 1

Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."