Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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Penis

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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