Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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