A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 + 2 = 4

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I need to start studying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops