- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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