what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

There are two types of people in the world: humans

what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

Knock knock... Home invasion

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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