i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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