There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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