How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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why was the boy sad? because.

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Wright flyer

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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