A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

A horse walks into a barn.

#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

poo

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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