how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Lets Go Lakers!

My wife made me a sandwich

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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