Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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CRY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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