Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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