I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

Womens rights

Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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