What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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