How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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