whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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A black man has a job.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Cows are land manatees.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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