A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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The WNBA

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops