What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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