A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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