Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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