What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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