A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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