You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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