Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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