What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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balls

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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