"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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