Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The most common example of anti-joke is "Why did the chicken cross the road?" with the answer, "To get to the other side." The punchline is intentionally mundane. An example is: "What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? "A chocolate-chip muffin." The no soap radio joke, normally involves 3 people. Two people who know what the joke is about, and the third who is not in the know, or "the victim". The person delivering the punch line is deliberately unfunny but when the punchline is delivered the two people in the know react as if they have been told a very funny story, to pressure the person hearing the joke into pretending to find it funny. The true punch line comes if the "victim" also reacts as if the story was funny. The shaggy dog story involves telling an extremely long joke with an intricate (and sometimes horribly grisly) back story and surreal or incredibly repetitive plotline, but ending the story with either a weak spoonerism (e.g.'Better Nate than lever!'), or abruptly stopping with no punchline at all. Versions of these jokes may take up to several minutes to tell. The Aristocrats is an adult version of this formula. Other anti-jokes involve unexpectedly blunt and graphic punchlines shock humor or dark humor — which often reference death, infanticide and terminal illness. For example "What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? "Cancer." "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "The police. I'm afraid there's been a serious road traffic accident; your partner is in intensive care." Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus. In writing, it is common to put a period after the punchline of the anti-joke rather than an exclamation mark to reflect its dry and superficially non-humorous tone. Anti-jokes may rely on deconstruction of the joke, deriving comedy from the unexpected or inappropriate use of technical or circumlocutional language (crossing into meta-joke): "Three blind mice walk into a bar. They are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from their predicament would be exploitative."- Bill Bailey [edit]Anti-humor in stand-up comedy Anti-humor jokes are often associated with exaggeratedly bad stand-up comedians. One legitimately successful stand-up comedian, Andy Kaufman, had his own unique brand of anti-humor, quasi-surrealist acts coupled with performance art. Ted Chippington's act contained non-jokes delivered in a Midlands monotone. Jimmy Carr is noted for his anti-humor style, anti-jokes being told with a straight face and very precise delivery. Bill Bailey is also noted for his particular brand of anti/meta-humor. John Thomson's stand up character, Bernard Right-on, would deliver set-ups to un-PC jokes (in the style of Bernard Manning), but confound the audience with tolerant, deliberately unamusing punchlines, eg. "A white man, a black man and an Indian walk into a bar. What a wonderful example of an integrated society". Alternative comedy, among its other aspects, parodies the traditional idea of the joke as a form of humor.[3] Andy Kaufman saw himself as a practitioner of anti-humor. Other comedians known for their anti-humor are Ted Chippington, Jimmy Carr, Neil Hamburger, Tim Heidecker, Norm Macdonald, Bill Bailey, and James Quall. [edit]Subversions of traditional jokes These anti-jokes rely on using widely known jokes which the audience is likely to have heard before. Instead of ending the joke in the usual humorous way, a mundane substitute is used, resulting in an anticlimax. Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you. (Usually 'the backstroke'.) Q: What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? A: Rape. (Usually 'Finding half a worm'.) I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and custard in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "no, I'm mentally ill as it happens" ~ Paul Merton Some jokes derive humor from wordplay and puns. They are subverted through substituting the pun with an equivalent phrase with no such linguistic device, creating a cognitive dissonance with the superficial resemblance to the original. Q: When is a door not a door? A: When it is half-open. (usually 'When it is ajar') Anti-humor sometimes manifests itself in poking fun at bad humor by the way of parody.[clarification needed] An example is Jim's Journal, a comic strip by Scott Dikkers, co-founder of The Onion, which has no traditional punchlines. Other jokes rely on parts of a joke told in the wrong order or parts of different jokes told together, creating an effect similar to non-sequitur. Knock Knock Come in. [edit]Nonsense jokes Nonsense jokes lack intrinsic meaning, and become funny simply because they are absurd, as in a nonsense riddle from the 1930s:-[4] Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One of its legs are both the same. [edit]See also

thumb_up thumb_down -32

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

thumb_up thumb_down -34

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops