How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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