Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down

So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

thumb_up thumb_down

So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Justin beiber..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops