What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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