Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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