I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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