Guess what? I like trains.

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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My wife made me a sandwich

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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