5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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