So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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