Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops